Thursday, March 16, 2006

Mor Mune

Bill is learning about the distinction between wants and needs at school, and on one sheet had to fill in the blank on the following sentence: "My mom and dad want _____." His insertion: "mor mune." Phonetically to a kindergartner that is equivalent to "more money," but the mortified Wife of Hatcher tried to explain to his teacher that "munes" are like modern day indulgences that save you time in purgatory, and that you win them by doing selfless deeds. Meanwhile, I took Billy aside and explained to him the error of his ways - it is not more money for its own sake that we want - it is the things that we can buy with more money that matter. And even more than the things we buy, it is the things we buy that our neighbors can't afford that really matter. He's only a kid - he'll learn.

Meanwhile Joe has established himself as a kindergarten chick magnet. I wish I could say that makes him a chip off of the old block, but most readers of the blog know me personally and would get too good a laugh from that one. We went to a Valentine's dance at his school, and he literally had three girls fighting over him. When we left and remarked to him how much the ladies dig him, he laughed and said "it's like I'm famous for the girls." Another day at the park the Wife of Hatcher met the mother of a kid Bill and Joe know from summer camp, whose son is also in kindergarten but in a separate class, and when the women figured out the Wife of Hatcher was Joe's mom, she said she heard from another mother of a girl in Joe's class that all the girls love Joey. He's a cute kid, but it goes to show that girls are superficial because his most prevelant talent to date is making fart noises with his armpit.


Barry! Shocker! He took steroids?!?! I reproduced a debate between me and Professor Vic on this very topic in the pages of Ideas Hatched, and must now say, as I often do, that I feel like I've locked down that debate victory pretty good and clean. I'd like to see the pitchers collude and just intentionally walk him until he retires. At the very least, he shouldn't get into the Hall. Joe jackson made a couple bucks a day and took money for throwing the Series in 1918, and he's been excluded from the Hall as one of the game's best players for damaging the integrity of a game that at the time barely provided a living. Now you got Bonds, who probably made enough to retire on in his first three years in the league, damaging the integrity of the game far more severely in my view. Not to mention the fact that he's an ass with a chip the size of a continent on his shoulder. Not to mention the fact that he thinks he's perceived as an ass for racist reasons (which may augment that perception among some, but which by no means is a necessary quality to view him as such), which makes him even more of an ass.

It reminds me of that new Kobe Nike commercial, in black and white, with him saying all these reasons to hate him, and ending by saying hate the fact that people love me for the same reasons you hate me. The problem with that commercial is no one hates him for the reasons he says in the commercial - they hate him because he is an ass who (at a minimum) cheated on the mother of his newborn baby. Amazingly enough, if he had mentioned that in the list, the last line of the commerical would have been no less true, because that whole incident provided him street cred among certain people.


Supreme Court 8-0 on Yale Law School's attempt to bar the ROTC from recruiting because of its don't ask/don't tell policy toward gays. Here is something to ponder: how is that the professors at what some consider the top law school in the country couldn't see that they'd lose even Ginsburg's vote on this one? The Roberts majority opinion basically said, not only could Congress withold federal aid from the school if the school refused to allow ROTC recruitment (which was the question at hand), but also even if Yale gave up the federal aid and tried to stand on its principles, Congress could ram the ROTC right down their throat. Beautiful. The Yale professors had some high-minded statement of their principles in this case - bully for them - but it will be interesting to see, now that there is some money at stake in standing by their principles, how quickly they'll duck from them.


Blogger pbryon said...

I love the insights into the Hatcher household. Assuming Bill and Joe are in the same kindergarten class, how did chick magnet Joe answer the same question?

If he answered "mor problims" in combination with Bill as a tribute to the late Notorious B.I.G., I would truly commend you on your parenting skills.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

re: Walking Bonds

Many a pitcher (or manager) did institute this policy since the HR record was set by Bonds.

Hell in '04 he was given a free pass 128 times (most all time). He also holds the number 2 and 3 spots.

The first non-Barry is Willie McCovey who had 45 or some intentional walks in 1969.

I think you'll see the trend continue this year.


8:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Wife of Hatcher's response could almost have been lifted from George Costanza. I am sure the teacher was fooled.

What was Joe's answer? If it was mor problems, I am impressed also. If Joe "the chick master" grows up to repeat other phrases like:

I know I told you I'd be true
But TINA got a big ole butt

Then you are the Zen master of child upbringing.

Lastly, please change the name of your blog to Ideas hated. You are a champion hater, not that there is anything wrong with that.

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Jim O said...

Yesh, we've met your wife as well as you. Any "magnetic" effect Joe has can be directly attributed to your lovley wife. The only credit YOU get for this development is for convincing your wife to marry you. You are so far over your head with her, it's a wonder your nose isn't constantly bleeding.
My brother the Lieutenant STILL talks about attending your wedding, and the parade of supermodels that was your wife, her friends, and her sisters. And I still regret missing it.
As for Bonds, if they let McGwire in the Hall, they should just scrap the restrictions and let anyone in. The last 20 years have been the heyday of Dow Baseball - better baseball through chemistry.

8:28 AM  
Blogger Professor Vic said...

In graduate school, one of Hatch's nicknames was "reservation value man." In economic parlance, a reservation value is basically the tipping point in a decision. Below a reservation value, someone will decide not to do something. Above a reservation value, people will decide to do something.

Hatch had an uncanny ability to instantly assess any woman's reservation value and then decide whether or not he was just barely qualified. Hatch would then choose to go out with women at UMN for whom he was right at their reservation value. In other words, Hatch was commonly seen with women for whom Hatch was the absolute worst guy they would be seen with.

Obviously, Hatch's charming wife is a perfect case in point.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous the_giant said...

A few things:

1) The "mor mune" thing reminds me of a story about my oldest son in kindergarten. He had to draw a picture and complete the sentence "If I were President I would..." He ended it by writing "give money to the poor" then proceeded to draw a picture of himself giving money to people who he colored in brown crayon. Talk about explaining something to the teacher... Guys at work died laughing, though!

2)I am convinced the funny little kids get chicks. Middle son gets his name picked out of a hat to bring home class "bear" mascot. Then he stands up and proceeds to do "the circle dance" and sing "it's my birthday" to which the entire class and the teacher laugh. Teacher then asks him if he can to it again, to which he does... Teacher proceeds to tell us that all the little girls like Danny...

3) Re:steroids. Why pick on Bonds alone. I know he's coming up on some incredible records, but what about all the other guys who will make it into the HoF and juiced? Everybody knows McGuire did it too -- seen any pictures of him now? How many pitchers have also? I say test everyone to death now and put astericks next to any player who played from say '95-'05. The whole thing was really mistreated by the Commishioner, who has let it get out of hand. I agree Bonds is an ahole, but he's not the only one guilty..

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My kid was asked the same question in kindergarten. She wrote, "mur sshrtus".

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: reservation man.

As a follow up to Professor Vic, let me additionally point out to the non-economists that if a good is valued in excess of a person's reservation value, that difference is a measure of the benefits of consuming that item and is known as Consumer Surplus.

Thus we conclude that the Hatcher has no Consumer Surplus.

Poor lovely wife of the Hatcher....

-- DC Consultant

7:42 AM  

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