Shot A Man in Texas Just to Watch Him Die

You only get one shot at a joke, and as far as having Cheney singing 911 is a Joke, I thought I chose pretty good, but at some point I should have had him humming Johnny Cash's Fulsome County Blues, with the famous lyric "shot a man in Texas just to watch him die."

The Washington Times today had an article with interviews of several hunters who unanimously say, based on their understanding of the story, that it was Cheney's fault. Now that is informative, because I had read that the guy had violated protocal by not announcing that he was coming up from the rear. Interesting that it takes the Washington Times to do the very simple task of interviewing a couple hunters, whereas NBC ties themselves in knots trying to understand what the President knew and when he knew. Because the story is always the scandal. Of course, the Washington Times is a conservative rag, so they need only interview each other to talk to a hunter. The Washington Post, in contrast, wouldn't know where to find a hunter.

Many funny comments and stories yesterday. Professor Vic's craving the Colonel's chicken forthnightly deserves mention, as does the story of Garrett's thwarted assassination attempt of GWB in New Hampshire. Greg Hindsley (a cousin of the Hatcher) made us all feel old and entirely unhip by cleverly inserting the entire catalog of Public Enemy songs into a comment. And I especially enjoyed Lime's parallel universe press conference concerning the Clinton shooting of a blue dress - inspired. The Chartruese alcoholic lawyer, Snake, chimed in several times. That's what it is all about.

On an entirely separate note related to the Super Bowl, a co-worker informed me that on ESPN's the Sports Reporters, one of the participants was trying to make the point that the offensive pass interference call that negated the Seattle touchdown was an absurd call by saying that if that was offensive interference, then Michael Jordan's push off of Byron Russell prior to sinking the game and championship series winning shot against Utah was also a foul. Now, they are 2 separate sports, so I hate to have to tie them together, because I'd like to cling to conspiracy theories in both sports - in the case of the Super Bowl, the refs were on the payroll; in the case of the Bulls, Jordan was spotted 10-15 points per game due to favorable calls or non-calls, whichever the case may be.

But I cannot believe that someone would actually bring up the Jordan push-off as an example of a very obviously clean play. I always thought that the conspiracy involved showing it over and over again without ever having a sportscaster make the very obvious point that it was a clear and obvious blatant foul, for fear of exposing professional basketball as a sport one notch above professional wrestling (only without the personality). And that by force of not pointing it out, but showing it over and over again, we would all just question our own vision. But now it appears to me that the powers of David Stern extend to downright brainwashing. Impressive.