Memo to Al Gore's Secret Service Agents

To: Al Gore Secret Service Detail
From: Concerned Citizen
Date: June 25, 2004
Re: Location of Tipper's Medications

In the guest bathroom of the second floor, you will find Tipper's prozac on the second shelf of the medicine cabinet, behind the echinacea. Prozac looks remarkably similar to tylenol. Replace a handful of prozac pills with a like number of tylenol. Each morning, volunteer to prepare Al's environmentally friendly Rain Forest Coffee Blend. Grind one prozac pill, mix with sugar, and insert in coffee. The nation will thank you!

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The man has clearly gone insane. As Lileks informs us this morning, "he coined a new term for the Internet critics of his positions: digital brownshirts." Calling his critics Nazis! It sends a chill down my free speech-loving spine. He came up with his new term of affection for us bloggers in a speech accusing W. of lying about the connection between al Queda and Iraq:

"Beginning very soon after the attacks of 9/11, President Bush made a decision to start mentioning Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein in the same breath in a cynical mantra designed to fuse them together as one in the public's mind."


But wait a minute, it seems only 12 years ago, I can distinctly remember the day, I was watching Larry King Live (fade to dream sequence):


IN 1992, AL GORE ATTACKED PRESIDENT GEORGE H.W. BUSH FOR IGNORING IRAQ'S TIES TO TERRORISM. SEN. AL GORE: “[W]hen George Bush took office, he should have reevaluated what our relationship was with Iraq ...” CNN’S LARRY KING: “Well ...” GORE: “Let me finish, just briefly. Instead, he stepped up the foreign aid to Iraq, and he looked the other way when there were repeated incidents of terrorism in which Iraq had a part, terrorists operating openly in Baghdad, and repeated warnings from our national security people telling the Bush administration that Saddam was on a crash program to develop nuclear weapons, chemical weapons, and other weapons of mass destruction. And he overruled a lot of his advisers and extended another billion dollars of foreign aid, and the U.S. taxpayers are right now having to bail out Saddam Hussein for almost $2 billion. Just like the savings and loan bailout, now it’s the Saddam Hussein bailout, and it shouldn’t have taken place.” (CNN’s “Larry King Live,” 10/5/92)

IN 1992, GORE SAID BUSH ADMINISTRATION WAS “CODDLING” SADDAM AND IGNORING HIS PURSUIT OF WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. “Democratic vice presidential nominee Al Gore Tuesday attacked what the Bush campaign views as its strongest asset, as he charged the president caused the gulf war by ‘coddling’ Saddam Hussein. … He said recent evidence - including published reports and documents from congressional hearings - contradicts Bush’s assertions he did nothing to enhance Saddam’s development of weapons of mass destruction before Saddam invaded Kuwait. Gore said both the Reagan and Bush administrations received regular intelligence ‘warnings’ that Saddam was aiding terrorists and was bent on building such weapons.” (Sam Vincent Meddis, “Gore Assails Bush On Iraq Policy,” USA Today, 9/30/92)

Substitute any Democratic critic of the claim that Iraq and al Queda were in cahoots with each other for Al Gore, and I'll bet you can find their Larry King moment in about two seconds with Google. They ought to make a board game out of matching contradictory quotes to the liberal. Hopefully the prozac will help. I live in Gore's neighborhood (about a half a mile away - its an economically diverse neighborhood, trust me), and it is really hard to sell a house when your neighbors are visibly insane. Good thing he never got his hands on the nuclear football!