2006 Election and the Birth of the Most Ethical Congress

Well, that was a good old-fashioned a**-kicking during the election, and all I have to show for it is $30 in winnings. Should of bet the Senate race – much better odds there. Elections are funny things – very messy data that is tortured to no end to make completely unsupportable suggestions of their longer-term meaning. The Clinton election in 1992 was the death of the Republicans; the Republican Revolution in 1994 was the death of big Government liberalism; the Republican setbacks in 1998 were a kick to the head of the recently resurrected Republicans that would send them to another death in 2000; the 2000 elections was the death of the Democratic party, even its moderate elements, with the burial of it side by side with the long dead big Government liberalism; and here we are in 2006 when the electorate, with big government liberalism back in good health and packaged with his new friend defeatist pessimism, while ideology and big government conservatism dies a swift death. Our politics are like the Night of the Living Dead.

Now if all I cared about was my tribe being in power, I’d feel comforted with Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of what she promises to be the most ethical House of Reps in American history, because it won’t be long until my tribe takes over. Last time we heard that promise it was Bill Clinton talking about his administration in 1992 while in the back of his mind he was conjuring up creative uses for Cuban cigars, the market price for the Lincoln bedroom, and ways to raise plenty of cash from Chinese commies. Her first move in the most ethical House of Reps was to support John Murtha for Majority Leader, who expressed within days of the vote that the House ethics bill being floated by the Dems was a load of crap, but he’d support it because Pelosi was in his corner, and this was her baby. When Murtha went down in the vote, Pelosi stood by her man saying how valuable it was that he “spoke truth to power,” which is a cliché that has long over-stayed its welcome. And unless she was referring to the portion from the Abscam tapes, one of the biggest Congressional scandals in US history, when he said to FBI agent dressed as an Arab Shiek – “is that a suitcase full of money in your robe or are you just glad to see me?,” I wouldn’t know what she is referring to.

Meanwhile William Jefferson, Democratic Congressman from New Orleans, is in a runoff in December after no candidate received more than 50 percent of the vote. The state of the most ethical House in history could hang in the balance in the Big Easy, as Jefferson is known for coincidentally having $90,000 in cash in his freezer. Apparently he’s clean because the bills are all frozen together and may not thaw properly, making their status as legal tender questionable. If only Johnny Cockrane were available to defend him – “if the money doesn’t transmit, you must acquit!”

I was lamenting to a friend that the Democratic party never seems to put the pressure on its crooked members to quit. Have sex with a page – we’ll heap praise on you when you die; drive a woman off a bridge in a drunken stupor – step right up as the leader of the opposition; rape a woman in Arkansas – hmmm, better rethink this whole date rape issue and have a further dialogue; stash $90K in your freezer – there’s gotta be a plausible explanation; leave the National Archives with classified documents of national important that fell into your socks - we all just laughed ‘cause that’s crazy mixed up Sandy for you; payoff your mistress out of your Rainbow Coalition to cover the costs of your illegitimate kid – when can we sign you up for a spot on the Today show?; have sex with a teenage campaign worker – well then the Rainbow coalition has a place for you as a youth counseler! And that’s just the Kennedy family! These guys are beyond parody, and I could spend the next two years laughing my ass off if the rest of the country realized the high comedy, but instead most people think this is the West Wing rather than the Office.

Anyway, all of that aside, whatever change in policy this spurs, I honestly hope that it works. I don’t think that anything coming from the Democrats with respect to foreign policy will do anything to improve our standing, and much of what they are flirting with could make it far worse. But the thing about the world is that there is an element of unpredictability, and a really bad bet can come through even as a good one goes south. It’s better to be lucky then good. Hopefully the Democratic Congress will be like an episode of Three’s Company – where Jack Tripper gets himself into a huge mess because of a misunderstanding, but somehow it all works out in the end. And there is one thing about the U.S. that we can all take comfort in – being the richest country in the world enables us to afford really bad governance, no matter how you define bad. Not without a cost, but still we can afford it. And something tells me my share of that bill is about to go up.