Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Old-Time Parenting

It cost me $20 to see the Yankees go down; worth every penny. A post-season without either the Yanks or the Red Sox - whew, thank God! Although I don't see much reason to watch anymore. For all of you Bush-haters out there, let me point out that this makes 5 fall classics under the Bush admin, and zero Yankee world champions.

The picture above is from historic Williamsburg. We had to go back to basics with poor Jake in efforts to reform his behavior. 24 hours in the rack, with the pounding rain, seems to have done the trick. It helped a little that his feet could barely reach the platform, adding to the pain. I have to say it has worked like a charm. He's behaved wonderfully since, although he's been a little bit listless, and his pulse is slightly weak. Hopefull with the turnover in the Supreme Court, these modes of punishment will make a comeback.

We escaped to the Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg this weekend to avail ourselves of the large indoor waterpark on the premises. It is pure bourgouise heaven - SUVs and minivans parked as far as the eye can see in the lot, parents with 3, 4, and even 5 kids cramming them into the hotel rooms. Bland overpriced food being eaten by middle-aged balding men with paunches.

On Sunday night I ventured to the hotel bar to watch the Angels-Yanks game, struck up a conversation with some guy from County Mayo, Ireland whose been living in Northern Virginia for about 10 years. A half an hour later we're joined by 2 guys, one of whom is probably the biggest Wirish guy I've ever come across. Wirish is my term for an American guy, usually of Irish decent 5 or 6 generations ago, who wishes desperately he was Irish. Then the conversation was all Irish all the time ... Ughh. As if on cue, he said at one point to prove his bona fide "I've travelled to Ireland" credentials that the Guiness tastes a lot better over there. The guy was a walking cliche, and he said this as if it was a novel observation. I've been to Ireland, and they must have mistook me for a local, because the customs people didn't drag me into a room and hypnotize me into saying that Guiness in Ireland tastes a lot better than Guiness in the States anytime someone mentioned merry old Ireland. And let's face it - it tasts like oil in the states, so how hard can it be to improve upon that?


Blogger Professor Vic said...

Look, I'm all in favor of such punishments. I would love to see DeLay and Abrahamoff in stocks.

Please note, however, as a liberal I am required by the ACLU to decry such punishment when applied to Afghani or Iraqi terrorists.

My only major concern with Hatch's post is, should it be titled "Ye Olde Tyme Parenting."

7:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting technique. Will they be fitting Scooter or Karl for the stocks anytime soon? If this is acceptable punishment for being a naughty child, why not install the two on the mall and allow the public to scorn them in person?
Hope the parenting gets easier.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Between snickering at calling the principal 'doctor' (previous blog) and this 'Wirish' anecdote, I'm starting to think you're a snob. You are from Jersey, you know...

8:40 AM  
Blogger Hatcher said...

Sounds to me like you've made that same comment regarding Guinness. Nevertheless, I'll try to be less of a snob.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Professor Vic said...

As a current Boston resident, I would like to make a point about equating the Red Sox and the Yankees. Now, I am no Red Sox fan, the Twins of my misspent college and grad. school days being my team. (I also have some love for the Cubs having lived 2 blocks from Wrigley for several years. I figure having one AL and one NL team is probably not too big a sin.) I have been quickly accepted by the locals here by announcing my hatred of the Yankees. For most folks around here that is almost as good as being a Sox fan.

Now, I realize that the Red Sox are the biggest spending, large market team in the country with the exception of the Yankees, but thanks to their many years of futility, most fans nationwide don't put them into the same "buying a pennant" class as the Yankees. (You actually have to win some games to be accused of buying wins.)

I think most of the country was rooting for the Sox against the Yankees last year.

Now that the curse is lifted however, I think they are only one (maybe two) World Series victories away from being a hated, free agent buying, big market monolith like the Yanks. Still, I wouldn't put them in the same category as the Yankees until they win a couple of more big ones, which may not occur anytime soon.

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Jim O said...

That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard - "The Guinness tastes better in Ireland".

That's like saying the rollercoaster feels better in Disneyworld, or the bourbon tatses better in Kentucky.

I like the Wirish designation though - I know some people like that.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Kentucky John said...

Hold on there now, yankee-boy. Presumably you mean the "mass-marketed" bourbon doesn't taste better in Kentucky...now the home-made stuff, that's a different matter altogether.

I think the dumbest thing I ever heard is "I'll try to be less of a snob."


12:34 PM  

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