Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Drinking Man's Anne Geddes

Can't seem to muster a serious post this week, so why not show pictures of babies that promote hard liquor? Sure, the folks at MADD would be very upset, but everyone knows that babies and toddlers cannot drive, so what's the harm? This is from long time reader BFX, the drinking man's Anne Geddes. The Hatcher is inspired by the effort, complete down to the "Party in my crib 3:00 am BYOB" t-shirt, specially printed for the occasion. The posting is a little dated, as this was BFX's St. Patrick's day greetings to friends, but is Southern Comfort ever really out of season?

Some of you pinko commie liberal freaks out there will be thinking - sure, "the Hatcher has no problem promoting alcohol, but if someone should so much as light up some cannibas, he can't send them to jail fast enough." Oh, the hypocracy! But to that I will respond as follows:

1) Of course you think that, because you are a pinko commie liberal freak;
2) Many conservatives are advocates of de-criminalizing drugs - the editors of the National Review, for example. And, while that view obviously remains a minority view, my guess is that the same is true among Democratic politicians;
3) Lighting up a joint doesn't have the same theatric power as a broken man sitting alone at a bar with a half-empty bottle of booze listening to country music. A broken man smoking a joint would get the giggles in minutes and start ordering all the brownies he could eat off of the bar menu. Any drug that takes a man away from rampant self-indulgent misery does him no favors.
4) People who smoke pot can be happy anywhere - putting them in jail together is probably to their liking is long as they can still light up. So, while I am not in favor of de-criminalizing, I am in favor of letting them harvest a small prison crop for themselves.

As a side note, I should mention that within minutes of arriving at our Sandals resort for our honeymoon in Jamaica, the husbands of two other couples were offered marijuana by hotel workers. The Hatcher went a whole week without 1 stinkin offer. Do I look like a narc? Does Jamaica even have narcs?


Blogger scarey mellon said...

You can't beat a little Southern Comfort for teething!

11:53 AM  
Blogger Fallon said...

There's a picture of your nephew with a Bud in his hand when he was only 10 days old. Your kid's got some catching up to do.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Clupbert said...

I am a conservative who wants to LEGALIZE IT. I don't know about heroin, crack, or cocaine, but who cares about ganj?

11:07 PM  

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