Wednesday, December 15, 2004

The Conspicuous Consumption Christmas Card

Today we skip a year to get to 2002. No fun and games were had in 2001, as that year was not conducive to it. But the next year America was back to its greedy imperialistic self, and the Hatcher's family was right there with it. The Christmas picture from that year illustrates several important points:

1) The dirty little secret every parent knows but shudders to admit is that little kids are never funnier or cuter than when they are rip-roaring drunk. But not the Hatcher - everyone knows it's funny, so why hide behind the politically correct facade that you shouldn't let your kids booze it up until they are at least 12. I hope this act of courage made other parents less self-conscious about letting their toddlers have a beer or two to unwind after a hard day on the playground;

2) At this Christmas season, it is important to remember that there are children across the world who will go without a meal, but my one year-old owns a tuxedo! Hey, it works for John Kerry;

3) In line with the conspicuous consumption theme, note that the boys are toasting with martinis rather than some canned beer preferred by the peasantry. My boys have discriminating tastes!

4) The missing element to the picture is the cigars - I had a few old cigars that, when pulled from the drawer after sufferring a few cold dry Minnesota winters, practically crumbled to dust. I regret that I could not put in a plug for the tobacco companies of the world that Christmas, but there will be others.


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