Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Clinton Takes on Obesity

Today's post will be extremely short, but what I lack in length I'll make up for in crudity. In the papers yesterday I read that Bill Clinton has been tapped by the American Heart Association to combat obesity in America. Instantly the music that cues a daydreaming sequence in a TV sitcom began playing in my head, and my mind flashed to the most effective commercial message Clinton might deliver:

Cue Bill Clinton, in a Arkansas park viewing a not quite obese (but definitely on the chubby side) somewhat attractive young woman - as close in age to Chelsea as the law will allow- about to eat a pizza. Interrupts Clinton, in his hoarse Southern accent: "Don't eat that pizza! Why don't you deliver it right up to me in the makeshift Oval Office of my Presidential library? Instead of eating that highly caloric grease laden pizza, I'll share my hot dog with you - and you don't even have to finish it. You'll save even more calories by not covering my hot dog with a bun."

Flash to beret wearing would-be obese pizza eater: "That sounds great, but do you mind if I change out of this nice dress into an old Gap dress I own? I'd hate to spill any of the hot dog condiments on this one?"

Camera flashes back to Clinton: "Not at all. I know how hard it can be to get those stains out."

End of outdoor scene. Now flash to Clinton, alone, gabbering on about the dangers of obesity, ya da ya da ya da.

The funny thing is, after the first scene plays itself out, any liberal in the viewing audience will still take the second part seriously, much like they did his second term.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Sign up for my Notify List and get email when I update!

powered by